The Cincinnati Bengals kept their playoff hopes alive with an ugly win in an odd game against the Tennessee Titans in Week 15. Quarterback Joe Burrow notched his sixth straight game with at least 250 passing yards and three touchdowns, joining Tom Brady as the only QB to ever accomplish the feat. This week, Burrow surpassed Brady in ancient forms of respect, thanks to his skill as a giver of gifts.
Burrow presented his offensive linemen with Japanese Katana swords for Christmas, per The Athletic’s Paul Dehner Jr. Each sword is unique, and the Bengals’ linemen got to select which weapon they’d take home. Veteran tackle Orlando Brown Jr. noted, “Joe does a great job at buying gifts that are extremely meaningful… The fact that he bought me a sword, it’s the most ancient form of respect.”
The thoughtful gifts went over well with Burrow’s protectors, but the fifth-year passer might have been better served by arming his defense. Cincinnati has been a sieve this season, giving up the second-most points in the league and ranking 29th in yards allowed.
The porous defense has largely undermined an extraordinary season by Burrow. The Bengals’ star bounced back from an injury-plagued 2023 campaign to throw for a league-leading 3,977 yards and 36 touchdowns in 14 games this year. But the standout performance has only led to a 6-8 record, as Cincinnati is two games out of the final Wild Card berth with three games remaining.
Joe Burrow is having the best, least memorable season imaginable
Last season, the Bengals signed Burrow to a five-year, $275 million contract, which is a lot of money. So much money that it sometimes seems as if the Pro Bowl QB doesn’t know what to do with it. He’s bought a bunch of cars and Batman’s car and wretched outfits. So it’s nice to see him spend some of that cash on undeniably awesome gifts for his teammates.
In Week 15, Burrow overcame an uncharacteristic three-turnover day to guide the Bengals to victory over the Titans. The teams combined for 10 turnovers – the most in an NFL game since 2007. They even managed to cram multiple turnovers into a single play as Cincinnati safety Jordan Battle fumbled at the goal line after recovering a fumble.
The Bengals will host the Cleveland Browns on Sunday as the team hopes to win out and reach the playoffs in a disappointing season. Cincinnati won the first matchup against Cleveland in Week 7, but that was three quarterbacks ago. The Browns will start Dorian Thompson-Robinson in Week 16 after ruining Christmas, and fun in general, by sending Jameis Winston to the bench.
